


Past Comes Back To Life

by AceOnIce



Series: Author Magnus / Soldier Alec AU [11]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alec Lightwood Loves Magnus Bane, Alternate Universe - Human, Camille Belcourt Being An Asshole, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Love Letters, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Past Magnus Bane/Camille Belcourt, Writer Magnus Bane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-02-07
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:41:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22188820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceOnIce/pseuds/AceOnIce
Summary: Alec comes across a dedication in one of Magnus' older books to someone he doesn't recognize and asks Magnus about it. It's not what he expects, but it reminds him Magnus has his own insecurities.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Author Magnus / Soldier Alec AU [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1596298
Comments: 17
Kudos: 359
Collections: Favorite Malec Stories, Fluff vs. Angst Battle 2020





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Well, the first sentences of this was sitting in my drafts for a month, about to be deleted, so I finished it and voila! I hope you enjoy.

"Who is Camille?"

Magnus freezes where he was about to take a sip of his martini. He looks up at Alec from where he's sitting on the other side of the couch. "I'm sorry?"

"You dedicated one of your books to her, I figured she must have been important to you."

Ever since Alec read one of Magnus' books he'd gotten hooked on his fiance's writing. He was now slowly making his way through all of the works Magnus had written. He'd started a new one today (or, rather, an old one considering when it was published) and come across the unfamiliar name on the dedication page.

Magnus raises his drink to his lips and drowns the rest of it. He gets up to make himself another. Worry stirs in Alec's chest. "You don't have to tell me."

He doesn't understand why this would be a secret after everything Magnus has already told him. Dredging up stories from his past about his mother who'd killed herself when he was a kid and his abusive father. Alec wondered how this could be worse because, based on Magnus' reaction, it must be.

"No, no, I want to tell you." 

But Magnus isn't looking at him. He's staring out the window and there's really not much to see except the wall of the other side of the apartment complex. Alec knows he's only doing it to avoid making eye contact. At least he's only sipping his drink now instead of chugging it.

Alec looks down at his own martini. He regrets bringing it up, ruining the nice evening they'd been having. He hadn't expected this kind of reaction.

"She was a long time ago," Magnus finally says. "A girl I dated in college. She was a junior when I was a freshman. You know I was a creative writing major. She was in business, but we met through a mutual friend." Magnus only seems to be getting more tense as he talks. " _She_ asked _me_ out a few weeks later. It got very serious very quickly. I loved her- or thought I did. It was more of blind idealization. She was the first person I trusted enough to show my writing."

Alec frowns, know this story is only going to get worse. He's still working on getting Magnus to talk to him about his writing without worrying that he's going to bore Alec. 

"She hated it. Told me it was bland and boring. She was probably right-"

Alec jolts up, leaving his drink behind, so he can wrap his arms around Magnus, placing a kiss to the shaved part of his hair above his ear. "I doubt you've ever written anything boring."

"The way she reacted... I was crushed at the time."

Alec bites his lip, tightening his grip on Magnus who sets one of his own hands over Alec's. 

"Camille told me I'd never make it as an author, tried to convince me to change majors to 'something more realistic'. However, soon after that, a professor read one of my assignments and pulled me aside. He convinced me to submit the short story for a contest. When I won, I decided to continue as a creative writing major. Getting my story published in a writing journal was enough for Camille to leave me alone about it. She even congratulated me and I thought... I thought it would be different."

Magnus takes a sip of his martini. Then he pulls out of Alec's arms, but takes his hand to lead him back to the sofa. He situates them so he's sitting between Alec's legs, his back pressed to Alec's chest.

"It was. Kind of. When I entered sophomore year I began submitting my longer works to publishing houses. I received a lot of rejection letters, of course. Camille got sick of hearing about it. I stopped talking about it. When I finally got accepted, I was so excited, but I didn't tell anyone."

"What? Why not?"

That was something worth celebrating. Alec wished he could go back in time, find college Magnus who'd just realized his novel was going to be published, and take him out to dinner and tell him how proud he should be.

"It didn't feel real. I pulled away from everyone, not intentionally, but I was busy and trying to keep it a secret was taxing. I think that's when Camille started growing bored of me. I didn't notice, so wrapped up in my own world. And then... it got published."

"You dedicated your first book to her," Alec realizes.

He feels Magnus, the top of his mohawk brushing Alec's chin. "I thought she would finally believe in me. I went to find her, to give her the book..." He trails off, takes a long drink. The glass is nearly empty when he draws it away from his lips. "I found her in bed with another man."

"What?" 

Alec is infuriated. How could anyone not realize what they had when it was _Magnus?_ How could anyone cheat on him?

"Obviously I ended things between us. But I was in a bad place, vulnerable. A few weeks later she begged me to take her back. I'm ashamed to admit that I did. Only for her to cheat on me again. I told you I had a girlfriend that practically lived with me once, right?"

"Yeah, the reason you were hesitant about me moving in. That was Camille?"

"Regretfully, yes. She was evicted for missing too many rent payments. For some idiotic reason I thought it would be okay to let her stay with me. As you can guess, it did not work out."

"What happened?"

"It was a culmination of things. Camille was not a very caring person. She was convinced love was nothing more than a concept used to manipulate people. She was consistently telling me I should focus on school and my 'real job' as a barista instead of writing. It got to the point where I couldn't take it anymore. I made friends that supported me and the sharp contrast between them and her was enlightening. I told her she needed to move out. She left, but not before telling me I was 'unlovable' and 'too much for anyone to deal with'."

Magnus' tone is light, like he's unbothered. Alec recognizes it as the voice he uses when he's attempting to hide just how much something has affected him. Alec places more kisses to the side of his head.

"It was an extremely unhealthy relationship, but I was young and naive."

"I'm so sorry. She hurt you."

Magnus hums in agreement. "It's always frustrating to realize I'm still not fully over everything that happened with her. Words like that can bury under your skin."

"Well I'm going to spend the rest of my life convincing you that everything she said was a lie. She was an idiot not to realize how lucky she was, how truly amazing you are. Magnus, I swear you're the best author I've ever read and the kindest, sexiest, smartest person I know."

Magnus rolls over in his arms, dropping his empty glass on the floor. He presses a soft slow kiss to Alec's lips. Alec's hands come up to hold his face, fingertips brushing his temples gently. When Magnus moves back, he has the smallest smile on his lips. "I love you Alexander. More than words can express."

Alec trails his fingers over Magnus' cheek, content to just study his face. 

"Come on sayang, let's go to bed."

Alec lets him lead the way, ignoring the mess from dinner. He'll deal with it tomorrow. He curls around Magnus on their bed and hopes one day he'll be able to make Magnus understand just how wonderful he really is. 


	2. Chapter 2

Because Alec doesn't know anything about helping someone rebuild their self-worth, he starts small. He begins leaving post it notes around the house for Magnus to find.

He leaves the first one on Magnus' bedside table. It's not much, just a simple _I Love You_ with a small, poorly-drawn heart. 

The next day he leaves two post-it notes. One on the bathroom mirror; _you're beautiful._ Another on Magnus' writing desk; _You're talented._ Magnus collects the notes and brings them to the table over lunch. "What are these?"

"What do you mean?"

Alec can feel a light blush spreading over his neck. Magnus sits across from him, cross-legged on the chair. "What are you doing?"

"Do you not like it?"

Magnus studies the post-it notes in his hands. "I didn't say that. They're very sweet."

"Good."

"But they're hardly necessary."

Alec clears his throat, fiddles with his engagement ring. "I just want to remind you. That you're talented and beautiful and I love you."

Magnus reaches across the table to take Alec's hand in his. "You're sweet and I appreciate the gesture. Thank you for these." Magnus kisses his forehead as he moves to the kitchen to make his own lunch. Alec considers it as permission to leave more notes.

So he does.

Over the next week he leaves them in various places, little reminders so Magnus knows how loved he is. He puts them on the coffee maker, the fridge, the bathroom door, Magnus' pillow. He hides them in the books Magnus reads and presses them into his palm when he leaves the apartment. He sticks them on walls and on the milk carton and the grocery list. He leaves them in Magnus' drawers and on his makeup compacts. He never runs out of things to say. Some of them are more serious. Some of them end up being little puns that still serve to remind Magnus of his value. Like the one he sticks in the freezer; _you're the coolest person I know. _(It's not his best work). More than a few of them end up only adorned with three simple words; _I love you._ Sometimes he writes them in Spanish or, probably grammatically-incorrect, Indonesian that he learned using Google Translate. 

He loves being there to see Magnus' reactions. There's always a soft look that crosses his face, a tiny smile, before he turns and rolls his eyes at Alec. Still, he collects the sticky notes and takes time to press a kiss to whatever part of Alec's face he can reach when he passes him. 

It carries on until Alec reaches the bottom of the pad of sticky notes. He frowns at it when he does and shows Magnus that night when they're lying in bed. 

"Good, I don't know what I would do with more of them," Magnus replies, stretching his arm over Alec's shoulder and drawing him in. Alec knows Magnus has saved every post-it in the notebook in his bedside table. 

"Are you sure? I could keep writing them until I die."

"Please don't," Magnus chuckles. "They're beautiful and I very much appreciate them, but honestly, darling, you've left me quite enough of them."

Alec sighs, pressing his side against Magnus'. "Okay, but if you ever doubt how much I love you, I'll write more of them, okay?"

"Of course."

A month later Magnus' new book comes out and the dedication somehow beats all of the post-it notes Alec has left for him.

_Dedicated To Alexander,_

_The love of my life_

Alec ravishes Magnus that night, showering him in praise, making sure he knows how much Alec appreciates the gesture. He keeps a copy of that specific book on his nightstand so it's always within reach. Needless to say, he has a new favorite book.


End file.
